Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

Life Long Goals

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

How do I start this? I don’t know.

I usually tend to write on things that affect me or I have seen and even things that I find funny or atrocious. Not often do I write about what I feel deeply in the soul or what has plagued me. It just hurts too much to pen and awaken myself to when I have buried. Today I am going to try to do this.

I’ve always been the big fat guy. Maybe with a funny sense of humor or demeanor but I’ve always been fat. Even as a kid. I remember the football coaches and players trying to coax me to play football but I never really wanted to. When they finally understood that this wasn’t something I was interested in the ridicule and demeaning started because I wasn’t part of their group. They wanted that big lineman to block or smash through the offense. What I wanted didn’t matter to them. So my entire time growing up I have always felt out of place and as abnormal as anyone could. Even without the Epilepsy, I felt strange because I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, use my size as an advantage. It’s just not who I am on the inside.

My confidence has been low for many years now. I attribute this largely impart to my incredible size and weight.My confidence has prevented me from reaching many goals. I have not gone after jobs that I have wanted, I have not done as well in school as I could have, I have not dated or asked those that I wanted to on a date. Those that I have dated either suffered with me or because of me, for which I am truly regretful. All of these I attribute to my low confidence and it’s time that I do something about it. There are other areas that I have regrets on and other aspects in my life that I need to change yet the one area that will give me the most inner advantages is being more confident. The first step that I need to do for myself is to drop a good amount of this weight. (more…)

National Wear Red Day

Friday, February 6th, 2009

Surprise!!!

I hope you all like the new site look. I think I timed it well to match National Wear Red Day that encourages people to wear red in support of raising awareness for women's heart disease.

While normally I'm not one who believes that genders should have any separation when it comes to health issues that can be combined for research reasons or awareness or things of that matter I also understand that there are issues that affect one gender more so then another. So that being said Happy National Wear Red Day! 

I feel that rather then raising awareness for women's heart disease we should be raising awareness for heart disease. Instead of making people take note of the pink ribbon parade each year for women's breast cancer, breast cancer as a whole should be brought to light. 

I'm not trying to say that women's issues, especially health issues, should be ignored. This is as far from what I want as possible. What I do want is more unified awareness for both genders. I see a good number of women's issues being raised and I'm super glad to see it. I'll even participate in helping out as much as I can. I just wish the male community would take a page and learn from our sisters that we can do the same thing and not be seen as Nazi's and oppressors.

I'll probably leave the site like this for a while as I kind of like the design that I came up wit, not to mention that it's also Stanford colors. =)

Random Thoughts

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

Body Dis-morphia
*Warning Emo like section — but it’s supposed to end with positivity*
My previous English teacher (slash ex-girlfriend) was big on this topic and while I was on the train there was an article about this in the paper. I tried to find it but to no avail. Regardless to say the paper went on about the usual crap on how this affects teen girls into their later years. This is horrible. Yes it is horrible for the teen girls and women but it’s also horrible that every time I read about this I get angry. I get angry because there is a huge area that these so called reporters are missing. Teen boys suffer from the same issues. As a kid I was bombarded with magazine articles, movies, images and more ‘you need to`look like this’ subliminal messages then one really realizes. This was especially prevalent when my sister would have her friends over and they’d swoon over the latest heart throb in a teen magazine meanwhile I’m in the next room all geeky and nerding out. I still see it today with magazines like Men’s Health, Maxim and GQ. I still see it in Movies and it’s all over the cover of most Hip Hop albums. I wish these articles written would focus more on teens or anyone suffering from this and not make it based on if they can pee standing up or not.

I guess what I’m getting at and what I’m trying to say is that I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit. Sure I can try to be a better person and I do. My growth from what I was as a child is spectacular. I really have a hard time though with my own self image sometimes and I need to remember that I’m fucking awesome. Who else can be me? I know others out there feel that they need to lose 10 pounds or so or need to look a certain way. This makes me sad. When I hear this I usually say to them something like ‘No you’re gorgeous just the way you are’ or ‘change for yourself and nobody else’. I’m not sure if this is too cryptic for them or not but it makes sense to me. Sure I have some things I’d like but I know I’m a good person and I’ll be a good person while I work on the things I want to…for me.

Compass Head
I woke up today and as I looked in the mirror my hair covered all the points of the compass. I’m not talking just the four usual ones but the cardinal points, the half cardnial points and even the false points. I laughed at myself and said damn, I wish others could wake up with this kind of wonderful outlook. Maybe not the hair but the positivity on life would make the world a better palce overall.

Shitty Email headers
"More Powerful then Cancer" – So knowing someone who just died from this I really dislike 1-800-Flowers choice of email subject lines. I get what they are trying to do here but damn. I’ll probably cancel my account with them and go with something like ProFlowers instead. I mean really if your mom is dying of cancer (as was the case with the person who I last sent flowers to) do you really want to get this in your email?

Journals – which one is for me?
I couldn’t decide between the plain Moleskin Pocket Notebook and the Japanese Moleskin Pocket Notebook. So I got them both. I want to see which one I reach for more often. I’m curious to see if the Japanese style notebook turns out to be more functional then the ones we are used to here in the states. My guess is yes it will turn out to be more practical but the curve in comfort will be hard to over come.

Wii Fit
The Wii Fit comes out today!!! I want one but I fear that it’s going to be a $90 piece of junk or not able to handle my rough and tumble ways. I think I’ll have to pass on this one until I see it in the stores and can make an assessment there.

Online Chatting & Weekend plans & That damned phone
I like chatting with my friends. Last night I had a nice chat with BT. I still am digging her photos though.While chatting is good there is something to be said for face to face chatting so I hope she gets her project done soon so we can go play.

I think AW (Starry Star) and I are going to hit the beach this weekend but I’m not sure. I’ll have to clear that up with her today or tonight.

I also wish I sometimes that the phone had never been invented. I hate that thing. Yes I know it’s useful but damn i cringe when it rings. It doesn’t matter who it is these days I just don’t like to talk on it. I blame this on my many years of both talking to customers as a phone agent and listening to agents talk to customers as a quality supervisor. Both suck butt butter.

Well I better find something to pretend to do because I want to make myself look useful. Meebo me if you are online.