There’s no describing what a seizure entails let alone how my mood will swing with each electrical mis-firing that happens. Again, I’m missing a large chunk of my tongue and while I know it’ll grown back it’s just yet another reminder of my dysfunction. On the onset of the weekend, I did regular tasks like going to the dentist, a bit of grocery shopping and minimalistic chores of the sort. Firday went off pretty much without a hitch. A few good friends and I went out to play pool at Shoreline Billiards. After a few jokes were slung and table were ran, the lot of us headed to have a bite to eat in downtown Palo Alto. The food at “Pasta?” was OK but it’d be a secondary spot especially for nights that were low key. I decided this as we were finishing our drinks at “Joya” another pub in the downtown area. Overall Friday was a big success.
Saturday rolled around and I was feeling fine. I did my exercises and another one since I had missed my workout the previous day. I had missed my weekday workouts as well and needed to take this time to take care of myself. I thought I was until I went black. When I awoke, a bunch of strangers were in my room asking me to sit down. The clouds parted quickly as I began to recognize them as paramedics. If I was laying down and not having sustained seizures, I wish the paramedics were not called but they were called by my roommates for my own safety and theirs. I understand this but I don’t think they understand what a financial hardship these seizures put me in with the ambulance ride, emergency room staff and all other items loaded on the bill. I was prescribed a new drug to stop sustained seizures but I don’t (and cannot have) a true gauge on this since I don’t want to have sustained seizures and have more blank spots in my life.
There was one bright spot to Saturday in which a very close friend dropped her daily tasks and spent the time with me in the emergency room as I was all tangled in wires and tubes for monitoring. What do I say to her? How can I ever repay her for her kindness? I think that I’ll never find something that truly allows me to express how much gratitude I have towards het. She’s done this before and it was just as special, but this is such an unselfish act that it seems impossible for me to recognize her and her acts for the kindness, selflessness and generosity that have been shown. I’ll keep striving to find a suitable award, token gift but I do not think that this (or these) actions can be properly rewarded with something of financial gain. The best I can do is remain her friend for as long as she allows me to helping her reach her dreams and goals…I think.
Sunday was a day of rest. With my workouts and the seizure I was sore in all extremities including my tongue. Hey hospital friend left her car in San Bruno and needed a ride. Luckily I am surrounded with other good friends and it took little effort and minimal organizing to not only get to our destination but meet up with our favorite teacher from USF. After a few margaritas and some laughs we headed home our separate ways. Hugs and handshakes flew but we all had a wonderful time.
I’m trying to look on the positive side here. While I’m a bit down and wondering about all things in life (future, jobs, family) With few exceptions this was a very above par weekend. I could have done without the seizure bit but at the same time I have a new wonderful memory. I wish I spent more time with these friends but I also realize that the times that I do spend with them are so very special already. I try to tread cautiously with them as well since I have a fear of becoming a burden or depressing.
What are you trying to say?
In short to those I spent time with this weekend, I just want to say thanks. While I’m not completely whole (mentally) you have definitely helped me over a very difficult bridge this weekend. I only hope that the compassion that you have shown me is given back to you ten-fold.
