Archive for the ‘Weight Loss’ Category

Today’s run was good & bad with a new methodology

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

Today I went running as I’ve been trying to do all in an effort to get into a better shape.

Today when I went n to the gym for a run I was all prepped except that the Nike sensor that I use seemed not to work. What? It worked for the last few runs I’ve had and I count on this to help keep my motivation. Well I guess I’d just have to use my music instead of keeping track of how far I have gone vs. how far I have left to go or even the pace per mile. Hrm, this was going to be tough.

What was I to do? Nerd out of course and see if I could make my body nerd out as well. So, while I was trekking away on the treadmill I came up with a solution after a mile. The new methodology that helped me through the last three boring ass miles since I didn’t have my mental pivot tables to keep me occupied. I was going to run one song and walk one song. One on and one off. This would allow me to keep me at a good pace and get the rest that I so desperately needed but not cheat myself from a great workout.

Know what? It worked. I found myself running more than I was walking. I found that I still don’t care that I was talking loudly to myself and people were starting to think “oh my” or something silly, I was doing it. I was in the zone so to speak and I was really having a ball even when Enigmas – I Love You I Kill You came on as one of my running songs…but I made it all the way though it’s nine freaking minutes (yes I counted). I was however rewarded with a lovely song by Lykke Li – Dance Dance Dance whom I was introduced to by a friend I need to reach out to and say hi.

So the Recap: (more…)

Life Long Goals

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

How do I start this? I don’t know.

I usually tend to write on things that affect me or I have seen and even things that I find funny or atrocious. Not often do I write about what I feel deeply in the soul or what has plagued me. It just hurts too much to pen and awaken myself to when I have buried. Today I am going to try to do this.

I’ve always been the big fat guy. Maybe with a funny sense of humor or demeanor but I’ve always been fat. Even as a kid. I remember the football coaches and players trying to coax me to play football but I never really wanted to. When they finally understood that this wasn’t something I was interested in the ridicule and demeaning started because I wasn’t part of their group. They wanted that big lineman to block or smash through the offense. What I wanted didn’t matter to them. So my entire time growing up I have always felt out of place and as abnormal as anyone could. Even without the Epilepsy, I felt strange because I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, use my size as an advantage. It’s just not who I am on the inside.

My confidence has been low for many years now. I attribute this largely impart to my incredible size and weight.My confidence has prevented me from reaching many goals. I have not gone after jobs that I have wanted, I have not done as well in school as I could have, I have not dated or asked those that I wanted to on a date. Those that I have dated either suffered with me or because of me, for which I am truly regretful. All of these I attribute to my low confidence and it’s time that I do something about it. There are other areas that I have regrets on and other aspects in my life that I need to change yet the one area that will give me the most inner advantages is being more confident. The first step that I need to do for myself is to drop a good amount of this weight. (more…)